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The Truth: All the Way from Idaho

Hello My Dear!

I just looked up at the bookshelf here in my office — and paused to notice this creation I made in Idaho at Brave Girls Camp back in the Spring of 2010. It’s a kitschy and colorful little thing that features a personal “truth” I chose as part of an exercise led by Melody Ross. I sat and thought about my truth while breathing Idaho air, playing with crazy-cool art supplies, connecting with amazing women, and listening to lovely music. Good, good stuff!

We sang, we ate, we made art, and we made new friends. We also worked on hard things that weren’t entirely easy or happy {that’s the “brave” part}. And then this little piece came home with me in my luggage to upstate New York to sit upon my shelf.

And here she is with my very own truth, served on tiny silver platter.

Olliebop Art

Olliebop Art 2

Something to think about, right? Especially for those of us who happen to be pleasers {Ooh! Pick me!}.

Do I always live this truth? Not even close. Being a pleaser is too much a part of who I am for that. It’s instinctive. And honestly, I really l like to please other people much of the time.

But ever since making this piece I have been much more open to the idea that there is another path besides always doing what is expected and conventional. I do say “no” more often, I change plans sometimes, I buck the system occasionally, and I am less judgmental of people who make those unexpected choices. With thanks, in part, to this tiny cheerleader sitting right here on my bookshelf. She’s tacky, she’s sparkly, and she’s not winning any art awards. But I think she’s got something good to say.

Love, BOP

Meet The Boys {“Mac and Cheese!”}

It’s been a rainy, dreary day and I’m in the mood to share something light. Something that brings happiness to our house every day — our pets, Ollie and Pablo {a.k.a.”the boys.”} We have this thing in our house; Ella has decided that whenever the boys are being super cute, we have to yell “mac and cheese!” and everyone must instantaneously turn their attention toward Ollie and Pablo. Lest we miss epic cuteness.

You haven’t heard much about Pablo so far. I think the only appearance he’s made on Olliebop before is here. We adopted him after the launch of this blog — and Ollie had stolen the spotlight by then. So, meet Pablo! He is Ella’s cat, and he loves to sit upon us whenever he gets the chance.

EllaandPablo

Ollie and Pablo are best buddies. They wrestle every single day, without exception. Ollie gets down in play position and Pablo often makes little squeaky hunting noises which mean that he’s ready to rumble. Here’s one of the numerous videos I have taken of the boys in action:

Ella took the camera around the house on Saturday morning for her own Ollie/Pablo photo shoot. These are her pictures of the boys — first the lying around. And the waiting. For something to happen…

Ollie in waiting

Pablo

Then they casually inch closer to each other until one of them decides to attack. Pablo was the aggressor during Ella’s photo shoot, starting things off with a nice bite {nibble!} to the ear. And then the wrestling had begun — and one of us of course was yelling “mac and cheese! mac and cheese!”

OllieandPablo

I can’t imagine Ollie and Pablo without each other’s companionship. Without Pablo, I guess Ollie would simply be…

Ollie3

The cheese.

The Best Customer Service Story Ever. {Pass it on!}

I have to offer a BIG TIME shout out to Zappos, who just delivered the best customer service our family has ever received. We had some footwear “issues,” let’s say, and Zappos turned our WOE in to WOW! I’ll tell you the full story, and if it impresses you too, please pass it along! I’d love to thank Zappos and our customer service rep, Danielle S., for a phenomenal experience by sending more customers their way!

So I received this in the mail yesterday — hand written and illustrated by Danielle {nice UGG, Danielle!}. Cool, right? Who does that in corporate America?!? Read on… it gets better.

Card from Zappos

As if it wasn’t already enough to be a VIP and receive free 24 hour shipping and free returns?! I mean really, Zappos was already so great that it was bordering on ridiculous. And then, this!

Here’s the FULL AMAZING STORY which led to the arrival of Danielle’s awesome card at Chez BOP:

Ella {age 11} asked for UGGs, for Christmas 2011. Lucky girl received a pair — tall, with a zipper all the way up the inside. We ordered them from Zappos, and she loved them. And all was well!
After 11 months of UGG ownership, the zipper of one of the boots broke in November of 2012. She couldn’t zip up one of her boots. How sad!
We called Zappos, and the rep on the phone {wish I could remember his name} said that we were still under the UGG one year warrantee, so we should contact them. He nicely helped me find the spot on the UGG site to make a return request — and we learned that their process could leave us without boots for weeks {and to a 6th grade girl in the Northeast, this is a big deal}. We ended the call, and I felt that we were fairly treated. It had been almost a year, after all, and workmanship wasn’t technically Zappos’ issue.
Several minutes later, the friendly Zappos rep called me back, saying that he felt badly and Zappos would take the boots back — and we would have a new pair the next day! Jubilation! The style had been discontinued, so Ella chose the Bailey, which was less expensive than the first pair. So, Zappos refunded our money for the $30 difference and sent a label to return the defective boots for free. Happy ending!
Ella happily wore her replacement UGGs for a mere 2 1/2 months, when unexpectedly last week her big toe popped through the end of the boot! It was so weird. As we looked closely, it seemed like the leather of that boot was thinner than the leather of the other.
I sheepishly {no pun intended} called Zappos again and my call was answered by Danielle in customer service. I wondered if she was secretly thinking that I must have this horribly destructive kid — or that I was working the system. I confessed that we had gotten the pair in question as a free replacement less than three months earlier. And now, I was asking for another. Danielle was SO nice about it, sincerely apologizing for our inconvenience. She offered any other boot as a replacement {the Bailey in that color was out of stock}, so Ella chose the classic tall instead. Although about $30 more than the Bailey, Danielle insisted that Zappos cover the difference — and that we would receive the new boots the next day. I also received another shipping label to return the defective boots. For free, of course. Another happy ending!
And then… just a few days later the handmade thank you card from Danielle. Awesome happy ending!

If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you know that I try to balance online shopping with supporting local businesses. You know that I love handmade {self-appointed Etsy superfan, here}. Promoting big business isn’t usually my thing {it’s counter to my small-town Vermont upbringing}, but this experience has placed Zappos in an entirely different big business category — doing to online shopping what Ben and Jerry’s did to ice cream back in the day.

I’ll wrap up with these fantastic words from Zappos’ site, elaborating on the first of its core values – “Deliver WOW through service.”

“WOW is such a short, simple word, but it really encompasses a lot of things. To WOW, you must differentiate yourself, which means doing something a little unconventional and innovative. You must do something that’s above and beyond what’s expected. And whatever you do must have an emotional impact on the receiver.”

Mission accomplished, Zappos! Bravo, Danielle {and nice customer service guy #1 whose name I can’t remember!}. With a great big “WOW” — from our family to yours.

P.S. In case you’re wondering… Zappos and I have no special connection and I do not profit in any way from the promotion of their business. Just a satisfied customer, here.

How Did This Happen? Tween/Teen Time Warp

The days are long, but the years are short.

“The days are long, but the years are short.” I’ll never forget first reading that quote in Gretchen Ruben’s The Happiness Project. It struck a chord. How is it that some days feel like they last forever — homework, driving, house maintenance, meetings, to do lists. But, I also can’t believe that we have a 12 year old and a 14 year old now in our midst! Only one more year until we are a 100% teenaged household. We will adjust quickly and it will all seem normal eventually, but right now that’s hard to fathom.

Which brings me to two recent Mom moments. First, my focus upon a very ordinary pair of PJ bottoms. They are size 4T from the Gap; light blue and covered with little clouds. Ella got them them when she was three years old and they went all the way down to her chubby little ankles. They weren’t particularly large; just regular PJs.

The remarkable thing is that they still fit — NINE years later. Like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants – except instead of fitting four different people, they just keep fitting year after year! Something about this brings me joy.

Ella's size 4T Gap PJs -- still going at age 12!

And with Hudson, I have different kinds of sentimental “Mom” moments — like when I let him open up the back of my laptop the other day. He convinced me that I needed to upgrade my processing speed and next thing you know, I had given him permission to perform minor surgery on my precious MacBook. Not that it was such a major thing, but it registers on my maternal radar when my child knows a lot more about something than I do. And it’s happening more every day.

MacBook upgrade

MacBook Upgrade2

I’m happy to say that I am enjoying my faster computer, immensely!

It’s crazy how all of these kids — mine, and those I have known since they were babies — are SO big! Some of them are taller than me, and hairy, and curvy, and have deep voices. What?!? Some days {queue the home movies and forget it!} I really miss their littler days. Other days, all I can do is marvel at the amazing growth happening right before my very eyes. The days are long, but the years are short.

One sappy mama — over and out.

Eating The Frog

This morning I “ate the frog”. I followed the advice of Tsh Oxenreider in her ebook One Bite at a Time, and I started my day by doing the ONE thing that was really bugging me and that I had been avoiding. Tsh calls that “eating the frog.”

My big old frog was sending the rest of our holiday cards! Yep. Just in time for Valentine’s Day.

I had gotten off to such a good start, too — getting about 60% of them in the mail in a timely fashion. Then the rest were put in a basket until we were on “the other side” of the holiday season. And then I got really busy and forgot. And then I felt bad, so I avoided them. Then they became my frog!

I do love our 2012 card, though, and I couldn’t stand to just abandon ship. They feature my favorite candid of the year — Hudson and Ella on their first day of school. On the back; Mr. BOP and me sporting our Halloween hippie costumes {another favorite — but also, the only decent picture I could find of the two of us!}. The hippie look totally works for him, right?

I felt I had to get it done, despite their lateness because A) they are already paid for and that’s just silly, and B) I don’t want beloved friends and relatives to feel bad because they noticed that so-and-so had a card on their fridge and they didn’t get one this year! I think it’s fine not to send cards at all, but 60% done wasn’t going to cut it.

So, I went with this approach {this is the back}:

And this is the front. Oh, how I LOVE this picture! I know some of you might be tired of seeing it {my personal Facebook timeline pic too}, but for me it captures the big news in our lives this year — the simultaneous transition to high school and middle school, which was a really big deal for us. Oh my gosh; they just look so big.

Xmas Card Front

So, after four episodes of New Girl, it’s done! And I feel so much better!

The takeaway?

1. Eat the Frog. Whatever IT is — and even if it’s a little bit embarrassing. Start your day by getting it off the list, and you’ll feel so much better. One frog a day will do wonders.

2. We all have areas where we’ve fallen behind. If you have a big old frog in your house, you’re not alone! We’re all doing our best. But we should also consider… can we just forget about our frog? Does it really matter? Consider giving yourself permission to let it go — and if you can’t do that, then EAT it. Pronto!

Anyone else have a big old frog hopping around their house? What is it? And will you set it free? Or eat it? Do tell!

A Merry Valentine’s Day to All,

xo, BOP

Happy New Year! And Truth Be Told…

Hello, Friend! Happy New Year! It’s January 2nd and the kids are back in school. Now, it feels like 2013 can begin. I’m wrapped in a blanket on the couch by the Christmas tree {yes, it’s still up!}, and this moment feels quiet and cozy. See? It’s nice to have this time, because today I have some things to tell you.

Most important, I want to say “thank you.” Thank you for reading this blog. And to those of you who have written or stopped me in the grocery store to tell me that you like it -- thank you! I have loved getting to know you, through Olliebop.

I also want to acknowledge that my posts were inconsistent this year. You may have noticed that I lost my way, in the blogging sense, in 2012. The reason that I posted less {and Facebooked and Tweeted less} in 2012 is because I felt the need to step away from my computer. It just didn’t feel right. I needed to work on myself and my life in real-time. And that’s because 2012 was a hard year, overall. Some unexpected things happened, and I needed to get through that in my own way. I learned a lot and I grew a lot — but it was not exactly a dreamy year.

I took my extra hard year and I focused on breathing. I spent less time on my computer. I went to the doctor more often and eventually realized that I would be OK. I thought about the people who fill me up and bring out the best in me. I worked really hard on letting go. I thought a lot about the concepts of impermanence and change. I took a mindfulness and yoga class to help with that. I focused on gratitude. I took a college course and wrote my first research paper in 20 years. I tried to judge less. I tried to “fix” things less. I tried to listen and refrain from giving advice. I tried to say “yes” to new opportunities. I tried to give people a break and to remember that everyone is struggling in their own way. And blog or no blog, I tried to see the good. And I felt so thankful for all of it!

Truth be told, sometimes when I’ve posted on my blog I’ve worried that sharing all of the happy and good stuff might make other people feel bad. Because blogs and Facebook can bombard us with the idea that everyone else is doing so fabulously and we are left to struggle. Alone. And I would never want to contribute to that feeling in another person. I hope that reading Olliebop makes you smile and does offer a reminder to see the good in your own life! That’s what it’s supposed to do.

The deeper I go into this phase called “mid-life” {which for me is the time when I finally feel like a real live “grownup”}, the more I realize how important it is that we all know we are not alone in our struggles. We all suffer losses, have insecurities, worry, have difficult conversations, make tough choices, feel sad, and are surprised by things that we never, ever thought would happen.

So why is everything on Olliebop so happy and optimistic? Because things are perfect at my house? Of course not. I started this blog not because things were all roses, but because I wanted to be able to see the positive, amidst the hectic and difficult times. I wrote this on my FAQ on day one of Olliebop, nearly two years ago and it still is true:

“What’s up with all the optimism? Are you always optimistic?
I’m not always optimistic, but my blog is. I’ve become more acutely aware in my 40s of the unexpected and incredibly challenging times that just keep on coming — here at home, and globally. And, I’ve realized that’s just not going to stop. But the hard times can make the good times even sweeter, and I want remind myself to stop and celebrate when I can.

And that’s what I plan to keep doing — celebrating when I can. That still feels like the right thing to do. Connecting with you here still feels like the right thing to do, too. And thus, I’m looking forward to what’s ahead in 2013! So… all of this said, one of my overarching themes for 2013 is to keep this at the forefront of my mind:

11″x14″ Poster Hand-Lettered Typography Print by emilymcdowelldraws on Etsy. {$30}
Note: some attribute this quote to Plato, although there is debate.
Click on image for shop link.

We really do need to be kind to each other. We don’t do each other any favors when we act like life is perfect – when it’s not. These things called mid-life, marriage and parenting… holy smokes, they are not for the faint of heart. Mid-life is HARD. It’s also ripe with opportunity. People grow together. People grow apart. Things change. Things become more meaningful. We evolve. We learn. Hopefully.

I’d say that the best thing we can do for ourselves in 2013 is to catch ourselves a break and do the same for others. We’re all doing many things well, and we’re all striving to do better.

On the bright side; just a few nights ago I turned 44 {see; I may have had my mid-life crisis last year!}. Our family of four celebrated in Boston, sharing a dinner and an evening out that was one of those nights that seemed to be sprinkled with pixie dust. Everything was delicious. My kids were hilarious. They tried to teach us to do the duck face. They ate weird and different foods. The waitress was so nice. My husband was fun and handsome. We were together and enjoying the moment. It was a wonderful way to end a less-than-wonderful year. And once again, I’d say that it was the challenges behind me that allowed me to recognize the sweetness, right in front of me. I loved every minute of it.

Happy New Year, friends of my blogging life. Wishing you much love, growth, and an abundance of joy in 2013. No doubt, the New Year won’t be perfect, but it can still be beautiful.

I hope you’ll continue to join me on my re-energized blogging journey. I have some fun changes and plans and I’d love for you to be a part of it. As for 2013, I’m feeling optimistic. Really and truly. Happy New Year!

xo – BOP

After the Rain… Family Fun in the Sun

Yesterday brought unexpected, but simple, pleasures — with the sun that followed the torrential downpour of the day before. Though I had decided to look on the bright side of the rain with my previous post {by shopping for the best rain coats and boots} we desperately needed some brightness around this dreary place.

We awoke to see that the stream in our back yard had swelled quite a lot in the storm — moving briskly, but still no more than a few feet high. The water was all lit up and sparkly by the unfamiliar sight of sun, so we headed outside to soak it in. It was gorgeous — like a movie director had flipped the switch on the set from “rain” to “sun.”

Hudson proposed that we drag our metal canoe {from Mr. BOP’s childhood; circa 1970} out of the woods and go for a spin in our newly formed rapids. Mr. BOP was on board, as he usually is with things like this, and they were off:

Canoeing across the yard was the highlight of the day; as we would cruise for several hundred feet, pull the canoe out at the bend, and carry it across the lawn and back upstream. And repeat. Our rapids offered a thrill ride that was surprisingly satisfying. We all took turns, except for Ollie {we wondered if the current was too strong for him}.

So a 40 year old canoe provided the day’s main entertainment. Who would ‘a thunk?

I should say our kids are just like other “typical” tweens and teens — they have their moods, they don’t always want to go outside, and they love media and a lit up screen as much as anyone. And that’s why this spontaneous fun in our canoe meant something to all of us. It gave us a break from some of the typical things that can sap the energy of a family. There was no money. No plugs. No planning. No negotiating. No hurrying.

It wasn’t that this activity was so special, but it had all of the combined simple elements that are rejuvenating. I’m sure that many of you had a replenishing moment this weekend, too. I hope so — as they can carry us through those long weekdays. This one was a lesson to me that for all of the planning and scheming that I do on behalf of our family, it can be even better to just let it flow — and see where it takes us.

So Big, and Back to School

Seriously now, how did this happen? Mr. BOP and I now have a Middle Schooler and a High Schooler in our midst. Two big kids; two new schools. Hudson and Ella this morning, about to get on their buses:

Hudson and Ella Back to School

The very best thing about this next chapter of our family life is that the kids both have the same bus time. They’re out the door together {the downside… they’re sharing a bathroom}.

Hudson and Ella to the Bus

Their buses arrive in tandem, versus two hours apart for the past few years. MY day now starts at 7 am instead of 9 am. That’s huge! Ella’s bus arrived first. She has the same friendly bus driver that Hudson had for middle school. His name is Dan, and he gave Hudson a $2 bill last year for his 8th grade graduation. Dan even wrote on it with a Sharpie, wishing Hudson good luck in his future endeavors. I just love that slice-of-life kind of thing.

I could see this morning that Dan was glad that Hudson had a younger sibling to continue riding his bus. He yelled out the window to Hudson “good luck in high school!”

Ella Boards the Bus

And that was that. They were off. And honestly, this morning I wasn’t sad. I was excited for them both. They’re ready. Ella’s enthusiasm was contagious, as she set her alarm for 5:45 am and was singing at the top of her lungs in the shower. Hudson was also excited in his quieter way.

And all of this reminded me that I’m looking forward to being a student again too — continuing to try to figure out my life and parenting and marriage and what I want to do from here. It feels good to be blogging again. I took an unintended but necessary blogging vacation this summer, and putting this post together makes me realize how much I’ve missed it.

So how’d the first day of school go? Two big thumbs up this afternoon when the kids got off their buses {only minutes apart — love this new schedule!}. The debriefing over warm brownies wasn’t all roses {as their schools are both gigantic and potentially confusing}, but their days both went as well as could possibly be expected. How I love those smiles and goofy stories and the excitement that’s still brand new.

Chaos in the Kitchen: The Renovations Begin

We’re in the midst of a kitchen renovation around here… exciting and messy!

This is what we are trying to accomplish:

make the kitchen feel more spacious
replace laminate cabinets and countertops that are falling apart {packing tape is holding counter edges in place}
create more counter work space
have an island where four people can be seated; ideally not all in a row {we want it to feel like a table}
have our kitchen feel more interesting and funky

Here’s the before view {the hole in the soffit is there because Mr. BOP was looking for the heating duct}:

The kitchen was like this when bought our house about nine years ago. We added this butler’s pantry on one side {through the doorway on the right} to create more storage and counter space. It was a great enhancement, and we decided to keep that in the same configuration, but with new cabinets and counter.

As we planned the renovation, we turned to architect Dick Robson {my step-father}. Here’s the concept drawing that he created for us, below. The area to the left of the present fridge has been open space for an eat-in table {earlier in our lives} and now, a couch. Using that wall for kitchen workspace gains the spacious feeling that we were looking for. Plus, the view from the sink will now look out toward the stream. The only loss here is that we really have enjoyed having a couch in the kitchen.

This plan accomplishes everything we were looking for — counter space, a seating area for the four of us {the island is 8 feet across} and space that is overall more interesting. The pantry will remain on the right hand side of this view. We have made a few minor changes, such as decreasing the height of the soffit above the island and also continuing the counter all the way across to the left of the new fridge. Although we like the breakfront look, we decided to sacrifice some style for function in that area. We also needed to replace four windows on the left side to accommodate the counter height.

So, this brings us to our current phase; chaos and demolition! We feel fortunate to be working with Joe Churchill of J&L Woodworking, as they create custom cabinetry and coordinate the kitchen installation. We highly recommend them. Joe and his right hand man, Ron {along with several electricians} got to work this week:

So that’s what’s going on here on our home front. Next week’s tasks; choosing cabinet hardware, painting, approving the concrete countertop sample, emptying the rest of the cabinetry, and coordinating with our plumber and taper. Oh, and packing for camping too! Although renovating a kitchen is challenging, confusing, and inconvenient — I’d say so far, so good. Stay tuned!

Dog Day Afternoon

Hello there!

I hope your Memorial Day weekend was all that you hoped — reflective, productive, relaxing…. fill in the adjective that you like most! We were looking forward to some down time, but we also needed a big push to get some things done. The age-old dilemma. We washed outdoor furniture, opened the pool, went for a hike, planted flowers, and spent some quality time with my Dad. And, I hardly touched my computer.

We don’t have central air in our house, and today was blazing hot {same for you?}. Mr. BOP and I looked at each other over lunch {he works from home} and with sweat dripping from our brows decided it was time to haul the four air conditioners from the basement and up several flights of stairs to get them cranking. By the time we had completed this task, we were just gross — and Ollie was looking at us like “what is wrong with you people?” He looked bored and hot. It was stream time.

I love watching Ollie romp in the stream — just on the edge of our back lawn. It’s an exhibition in pure JOY! And, I’ve discovered that the sports setting on my camera yields some great results when he shakes to dry off. Come get cool with us… in our stream. Ollie and Mr. BOP this afternoon, in the distance: